Sunday Thoughts

So today is Sunday and I've really been reflecting on life recently. This weekend I was supposed to go to the beach to celebrate my friend's birthday and say goodbye to some volunteers who are finishing their service. Friday morning's bus ride was disturbed by a phone call saying that a tsunami warning was in place due to the earthquake/tsunami that hit Japan. Sadness, disappointment, and anger were the emotions us PCVs felt. How terrible that our beach weekend plans had to be changed for something that probably really wasn't going to affect Guatemala. Unable to travel to the beach, we went to eat breakfast all 20 of us. A little unaware of the devastation that had and was taking place in Japan and for that matter in the rest of the world. As we ate breakfast and made plans as a group to head to Lake Atitlan and just move our weekend plans, we were updating ourselves on the news that was unfolding in the world. Knowing and hoping that the effects wouldn't be too large in Guatemala, the mood was lifting back towards celebration mode. Everything was working out. As more news was seen, I was beginning to realize how much of my life is in a bubble. The world around us is just in turmoil between the United States, Africa, Asia, and even Guatemala but somehow I manage to stay disconnected. It's nice but sometimes disappointing how much one has to try to realize what is going on in the world around them. It is hard to not get upset about how much the world is changing and how little I feel a part of it. I know that one person can't save the world or change the world but the extreme sense of disconnect can be unnerving. I guess now that I am officially reaching my one year left of service mark, I'm seeing friends and mentors preparing to leave and move on with their lives. I'm realizing how much has changed in the past year and how life always goes on. In my little apartment here in Guatemala, I forget that the world is still moving on, even though I feel like I'm staying still. I've had so much time for inner-reflection and can see how much I've grown this past year but I'm anxious to feel that connection again to the real world. I often feel like my life in PC is my life on hold. Everything is changing around me but my biggest complaints can be anything from being overcharged on the bus to having to change my weekend plans with my friends (nothing too life changing). I feel like this weekend brought a much needed life check in that I'm here to learn and grow but I can't forget the big picture and let myself get wrapped up in the bubble that is life in Guatemala and I feel life in PC in general. It is easy to get caught up in everyone else, you forget why you came, what you are doing, and what's important. I'm going to try to really take advantage of this next year to keep growing and changing and not get myself stuck in this bubble of disconnect. As I keep seeing glimpses of what is going on in the world, I get nervous and worried about how little I feel like I'm doing but I know that this time here in Guatemala is going to teach me more about myself than I ever knew. I just need to keep these thoughts in mind as time goes on. On that note I'd just like to say my thoughts and prayers are with those in Japan, Libya, Wisconsin, everywhere, and especially at home. love love love and miss.