Silver Lining

"I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it after wards." -Patricia Moyes

I just found this quote and find it so applicable to life right now. Just yesterday three of us PCVs went out to breakfast and we had a long chat about everything that is going on in our lives. We concluded that we have signed on to spend the next two years of our lives living in vulnerability and feeling pretty dang uncomfortable at times. I don't think this is really a bad thing, it's just not what I expected. I knew that joining the PC was going to be a life changing experience and that I would feel uncomfortable at times. I just didn't realize to what extent or how I would feel uncomfortable. I mean I have lots of things that I have in the United States, I guess at the end of the day it is just accepting that I'm in Guatemala and life is completely different here. Sure there are cell phones, internet, Mcdonald's and even Wal-Mart. But it's not the same. I find myself missing the things I didn't even realize made me comfortable, like eating breakfast when I want to or taking a shower without flip flops on, or knowing that my best friends and families are a quick phone call or drive away. I think it is the little things that make life in Guatemala hard and challenging.

Of course all of these "challenges" seem worthwhile when you have small interactions that remind you why you are here. For example today I went up the street to buy some more minutes for my phone. I went to this small store that I have gone to a few times to buy miscellaneous supplies and I usually have a brief "how are you?" conversation with the little lady that works there. Today my little tienda lady, I'm not sure how old she is, asked me where I was from? I think this means that she is starting to "trust" me and is curious as to why this gringa has come to her store for the past few weeks. Anyway, I responded Virginia. There was a bit of silence followed by "Well what are you doing here?" I attempted to explain Peace Corps and my job and I think she got it. It is hard for Guatemalans to understand exactly what Peace Corps is for lots of reasons.
1. They don't understand why you would ever leave your country, family, and friends to live in another place all alone.
2. It is hard to distinguish PC from other groups that come down and just give things away to Guatemalans, while we are here to try to live like them, live with them, and encourage them to make changes on their own. (SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT)
Anyway, I'm not sure if my new friend understood exactly what was going on but she did get that I will be here for 2 years and I told her that I would use her tienda for all of my miscellaneous needs. This made her happy and it made me remember that we aren't just here to work for Peace Corps. We are here to know Guatemalans and share our cultures. And I know it might be a bit cheesy but it made me really happy to have this brief interaction because I could tell that she noticed I was here and she was curious as to why. It made me feel good and reminded me that I do have a purpose here in Guatemala even if it is small or only includes supporting a small business owner for the next two years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that although things have been rough lately, I can find something positive from everyday that I spend in Guatemala, I just have to look in the right places.